Trending Shirt - Zenigifts

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A turtle can breathe through its ass. Humans have not yet reached this stage of evolution, although many have learned to talk through it. 75

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Almost pulled a muscle trying to give a fuck... won't be doing that again. 5

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APPARENTLY STRESS BALLS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THROWN AT PEOPLE THAT ARE STRESSING YOU OUT. 67

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ARGUING WITH ME IS CRAZY BECAUSE MY GOAL ISN'T TO WIN, IT'S TO MAKE YOU AS MAD AS I CAN 95

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Back off. I have a sister and I'm not afraid to use her! 88

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BE THE KIND OF WOMAN THAT WHEN YOUR FEET HIT THE FLOOR EACH MORNING, THE DEVIL SAYS, "OH CRAP! SHE'S UP!" 25

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BITCH PLEASE I'M SO FUCKING FABULOUS I PEE GLITTER, SHIT CUPCAKES, AND FART RAINBOWS. 86

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Damn I forgot to pay my feelings bill this month. My shit disconnected 9

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DON'T MESS WITH OLD LADIES WE DIDN'T GET THIS AGE BY BEING STUPID 68

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DUDES WITH THE SMALLEST PEE PEES HAVE THE MOST F*CKED UP ATTITUDES. CALM DOWN PUSH POP. 45

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Four out of five voices in my head think you're an idiot. The other one, is deciding where to bury you. 96

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Hickies are outdated give your man a Black Eye so those chicks know you don't mess around. 29

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